I rather deny the problem but….

I’ve been there , done that…Million times!  That is – closing my eyes and pretend that  there is no problem to solve.

 

I grew up being taunted by my weight.  It got worsen when I was in high school . Having excess bulges when you are a kid might land you a contract in Eat Bulaga but not when your peers are teens. The world was black and white – thin or fat; short or tall. There was no room for other  shades.  Good thing I was  surrounded by family and friends who  had other standard of happiness than being pretty , popular of slim. My father for a start instilled in me that a value of a person depends on the  size of her heart. My Mom admired people who are well –read. My friends have reinforced my humor. I guess , they all compensated for all the snide remarks and I came out ok.  I finished college and got married without having to attend a boot camp so I can fit in to a size 2 bridal dress on my wedding day.

 

Everything is almost okay till now when I need to be healthy so  I can get pregnant.  I ballooned to 220 pounds since I got married . I can think of many excuses for this- hectic graduate school schedule,  binge eating to lessen  my grief and homesickness, American food, friends who are good at cooking and sharing their food , and many more. But it boils down to my choice . I chose to eat that dessert with thousands calories rather than getting on my shoes and head for the gym.  There is no one to be blamed but me.

 

So, first step towards that elusive dream is to face the problem. The problem is that I am 100 pounds over my ideal weight of 120.  I’ve lost 10 pounds since January by eating low carb foods and an app called couch –to- 5k.  I know it is a long way to that ideal dress size so I consider this quest like another graduate degree and translate monthly weight goals into semesters or course hours.  So wish me luck!

 

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