Woman, Female, Lady, Girl

“Man, you’re such a girl!”

It’s been ancient years since i heard that remark about me. Surrounded by  many male cousins who either have one or two sisters, my quirks were always very revolutionary to them. Under the summer heat , while in the midst of riding carabaos or playing hide and seek, they always gaped at how I can’t be as smelly as they get, or why I see more of the little bugs around and giggled at the sight of a humungous pretty butterfly. If I would volunteer to organize our playdates, fixing food so we can have something to eat, making interesting conversations and thinking of mischievous  things to do  on a full moon night—for them I am being normal. But when i try to be less violent in our games and remind them to be kind to other kids, well, I am just being a girl.

After high school, I had more girlfriends than boyfriends. Over coffee, we would discuss anything under the sun and they were such a loyal companions if i need someone on a “pautwas” night. Make-ups, beer and snorkeling are related under our own lingo. Shopping became a therapeutic addiction even it means getting it in a flea market we called “Magarbo”. We cried, prayed and celebrated each others ups and downs. Whew, to say i miss them is such an understatement.

Now, I just heard that comment again. “Man, you’re such a girl”. And that was uttered by my beloved husband who has a mother and a sister. And yes, I am really a girl, a woman , a female!
I guess men can never ever understand how female specie’s brain works even when he lives with them forever. And for a girl like me who is so comfortable being one, I can never understand why manly men are sometimes just want to sit around eating red meat and talking about macho topics I can never hope to comprehend like football, imported beers and x-box. I am always aghast every time my husband buy things he needs in just a second without looking for other options in the shelves or why he can’t focus on what I am saying when he is driving or why he can’t see spider webs in our bathroom. Because they are like that, I always reserve my date for a syrupy romantic movies and my timeless quest for that most coveted shoes with my girlfriends so as not to torture my good husband.

These blatant differences in male and female are actually making our life less of a banal existence. I will never ever buy that ageless mantra of so called feminist movement that honks for equality of man and woman in all aspects of society. They are already equal in dignity but equality doesn’t mean they have to have same roles and functions. Men are born hunters and we women are born nurturers. One is not superior to the other and one can’t exist without the other.

Anyways, below are just few of idiosyncrasies of female species that never fully understood by men but which i think we need to explain the whys behind it. I got it from my favorite author Becca D. For all girlie girls out there, have fun reading!

“You always carry, like, the whole world around in your purse.”This is actually an incredibly shrewd precautionary tactic. For all you intrepid Eagle Scouts out there, it’s pretty much the same concept as “Be prepared”… only packaged in a really cute designer hand bag. It may weigh ten pounds, but I know I’m equipped for anything the night might throw at me: photo ops, cardiac arrests, international travel, or just a midnight snack. You tease me for it, but just try to count all the times you’ve asked me if you can borrow a pen.
“You always travel to the bathroom in flocks!” Walk into any ladies’ restroom on a weekend night and you’ll find a level of cutthroat analysis and strategic plotting roughly equivalent to a Soviet-era war council. This is where the real deals are cut, as the essentials of who’s in a crisis, who’s trying to push a certain agenda, and who needs back-up are hammered out in rapid-fire succession. When a group of girls suddenly returns to the table after having disappeared for 15 or 20 minutes, rest assured: your every word, gesture, and choice of entrée has been ruthlessly deconstructed, the remainder of the evening has been meticulously orchestrated…and we even had time to reapply our makeup.
“You spend way too much time getting ready.” This is merely a trivial side effect of one of our most priceless talents: attention to detail. For any minor inconveniences, it’s this innate instinct that makes us such good decorators, organizers, listeners, cooks, and gift-givers. Stop to consider: without it, we might make it to the movie theater 10 minutes earlier…but the trade-off would be nebulous Friday night plans, boring Christmas presents, and a lifetime of undercooked macaroni-and-cheese birthday dinners. We take longer on the things we care about, because we want to make sure they’re just right…for you. So don’t criticize us, thank us – when we finally appear, we’ll make it worth your wait.
“That’s such a girlie drink” From what I can ascertain, “girlie” in this case actually means “something that does not taste like a mixture of sour milk and gasoline.” While I am admittedly partial to drinks that are elegant-looking and not horrifically painful to consume, I consider this to be less scruple than common sense. Why would I drink something that smells awful and tastes three times worse when I can have a cocktail that I actually enjoy? In my opinion, the ability to drink something horrible without flinching doesn’t suggest lion-hearted bravery…just a lack of functioning taste buds. Want to prove to me you’re courageous? Sign up to be a volunteer firefighter or agree to show your face at a swing-dancing night. Then I’ll really be impressed… and I might even let you buy me a daiquiri.
“You have absolutely no sense of direction.” Completely and totally guilty as charged. I can’t tell the North Pole from the Equator, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Then again, this is one among many reasons that I’m so thankful God put men on the Earth. I may laugh at your quirks (such as that internal compass which prompts you to tell me “head due Northwest” in the middle of a major city), but I can’t help but appreciate the countless positive contributions you make to my life. Ensuring I actually make it from point A to point B is definitely one of them.
“You run (throw/scream/walk/dance) like a girl!” My personal favorite, just because of the obviousness of the statement. Yes, thank you for noticing – I am. But then again… aren’t you glad?

Oh Boy, I can never ever disagree! (a big LOL!)