Back again …not sure if it’s for good…

This is why I named my blog ” of endless beginnings”. We stumble and we pause for a long time.. Thanks be to a friend who followed me recently, I got an email from this blog and reminded me of its existence.

As of this writing, I have the same weight, same challenges, and same temptations I struggle to overcome since I can remember. I am still an ordinary person, doing an ordinary life. Nothing spectacular really , just perfecting the art of struggling.

But here is another year where we are compelled, if not just reminded to shed a new leaf. So here I am again, back to the gym. I guess, whatever I concocted as antecedent interventions to curb my overeating did not work well. The scale told me that. So , I added a personal trainer to my program. I’m a people person so probably being accountable not only to myself but to others might work. I found an all-women gym where they have a shake bar in case you need those yummy protein drinks before a work- out. Aside from that, they have a water massage room ( don’t ask me yet , I have no idea), a tanning saloon ( which the manager told me I won’t need) and a sauna. Sounds like a nice place, huh? So wish me luck and thank you for not giving up on me.


Falling off the wagon

I must admit that I started this blog to write about my weight loss. It’s been two months now since I wrote about my weight loss challenges. So far, I have shed off five pounds and this is nothing compared to the three-digit number I need to loss. And yes, I am getting impatient.


But my life is not about weight loss. During Lent, I tried limiting my time off Facebook and discovered the little corner in my soul called an introvert. I was tempted several times to post mundane pictures and turned it into a Facebook masterpiece, ( at least based on my standard) but my one-hour rule succeeded. One-hour rule means I have to wait at least hour before I open FB or give in to anything that I committed not to do. Most of the time, at the end of an hour, I found that my thoughts are better parked at my hypothalamus .


If only I can translate this facebook mortification success into weight loss.


We’ll see in the next three weeks because I have specific plans based on the science of behavior.


First, I will use one-hour rule for those food cravings that crept in the middle of the night.


Second, it is a fact that I hate running or brisk walking. In order to like it , I need to pair it with something enjoyable. That means watching Korean shows while I’m on the treadmill. Now the critical part here is to make sure that I only get access to my favorite shows when I am on the treadmill.


Third, let me try some antecedent interventions . Antecedent interventions means setting up the environment to avoid the target behavior from happening. My target behavior is overeating which is defined as eating food beyond my 1,200 calorie limit.   I have observed that target behavior typically happens after 7pm , when I just arrived from a stressful work-day or when I am upset. There are several antecedent interventions I can think of : make buying or access to food an effortful activity, make yourself busy , sleep early and don’t work beyond 8pm and drink lots of water. I just started a class on American sign language and have resumed my Spanish class. Hope those will keep me busy and think less of food.


They say , few is more, and I think that is also true with our goals. For now, please pray I will be consistent and strong.


I just   stepped on the scale again  and it showed the sad truth that I only lost five pounds and there is still 100 pounds to lose.  Before  I end this blog, I will imagine myself in my ideal weight. A prayer- may it spur me for the next three weeks!

Twilight Saga: Waving goodbye with a grin

At last, I watched the Twilight’s Breaking DAwn Part 1…

My feelings for this movie has always been gray. I can’t decide whether I like it or not , or it is worth my wampum and time.  I definitely like LOTR, HP and Narnia , but Twilight is one of those movies that when someone asks me whether I like it , I can only reply ‘Hmmmm…”.
So ,why I headed for the movie today?
One of my few friends here in VA named Ate Christine has a huge crush on Robert Pattinson and so do I. Though Edward Cullen’s smile can be creepy, there is an ethereal part of it that inexplicably affects me. I guess that’s why he is called a vampire.
Unlike , Harry Potter, LOTR and Narnia, I haven’t read the  Twilight book before I purchase a movie ticket so there is that element of surprise. I am also a  sucker for love triangle ,  so Jake’s existence,  for me, added  spice to the story.
I guess I am also a hopeless romantic and proud of it. For me a story is not a story if there is no facet of serendipity, rebellion, tragedy and exuberant devotion . Have you seen Bella almost killing herself for the love of Edward?
Per my research, Twilight’s author is a practicing and devout member of the church of LDS. I love her for adding purity of marriage in the book. What made that honeymoon in Brazil so fresh and thrilling  was that they were doing the act of love for the first time. Kind of funny too after seeing its aftermath, don’t you think? Wink!
Yet, why am I hesitant to give this saga at least a three-star mark?
I don’t like the character of Bella. Period. She is a disgrace to women.  I can’t understand why a century-old and wise person oops vampire like Edward would fall for her. Have you seen how fragile and depressed she was just because Edward was nowhere to be seen in the previous movie? I always hate the saying” you complete me” and that is how she acts for Edward. One’ cant love when one is not complete. I guess she just caught one  of my peeves—- weak women who can’t live without their men.
Then, there is the story plot. And sorry to disappoint you, it all revolves around protecting Bella and supporting her whimsical and selfish decision. Codes and treaties were deemed unsacred for the love of Bella. Is she worth it?Yeah, I sound so jealous of her , right? Well at least Frodo’s supporter knows they are having a hard time fighting the Orcs so that the ring can be destroyed or Cedric Diggory died knowing he’s helping Harry Potter destroy Voldemort.
Yes,  a story is not a story without a tragedy but not a tragedy solely for the evil family . So far, who died among the Cullen family? Who sacrifice for the greater good  ( if indeed there is a greater good) ?
Oh well,  I haven’t made up my mind about this saga.  For all it’s worth, I enjoyed watching it with Ate Christine  and talking about it with my friends online.

To blogging again! But why?

I’m a fan of everyone. That means that I try not to give up on them, because no one is perfect !  Aside from the fact that I’m being paid for doing that,  giving everyone a chance is a means of self-preservation. It is also something  you would like others to do for you, right? Thus, i love the phrase ” beginning again ” and ” practice makes perfect”. Cliche but true.

So after a long hiatus due to my crazy schedule, procrastination and millions of silly excuses, I’m back to blogging again ! You can say , I’m doing it for my own sake, for giving myself a chance and yes, validating  those above-mentioned cliches so we can continue writing ” but true” after the word ” cliche”.

I am Carmel aka Jinjin.   Closet introvert.  Trying hard geek. Clumsy designer. Good at poker face game. Perennial dreamer. Unrequited lover of  Words and Music. Skeptic, thus a Believer. Taker and receiver of freebies. Fond of endless beginnings and mundane things.

I’m starting  this blog to chronicle my path to that one elusive dream.- weight  loss!  Yes, so elusive that even my  genes are rolling their eyes. But hey, we are in the era of Disney princesses where listening to your heart means no one should get  on our way ( sarcastic).

But of course this blog is not all about that dream. I am blissfully married  so, once in a while, you will  be mortified  or inspired reading a glimpse of this vocation called marriage.

I’m a behavior analyst by profession and  I advocate for individuals with exceptional learning needs. I see the world in behavior units and jargons.   I will not directly bombard you with that realm but   it will be the invisible ingredients in most of my entries.

I grew up in the south of the Philippines and  voila!- there goes the Filipino culture.

Another home I call my own is the USA .  Needless to say , this blog is all about  it’s daily life  and  an immigrant’s adjustment  to the land of milk and honey ( if that is still true ) .

I love to travel and volunteer ! This year, I’m planning to take up photography classes so I can post decent, if not, breathtaking pictures.

So welcome to my blog and to million beginnings!

Thanks to a blogging rock star I know  from down under!